I've gotta say, it is not easy adjusting to change. My girls are very social people and they look forward to the start of school every year. This year, however, they have been very nervous about school in general. They are freshmen and high school seemed very scary to them. I tried to understand why they were so concerned about high school, but neither of them could give a real reason. I warned them about the struggle to balance marching band schedules and homework, and that they would miss their social life outside of the two. I now think I may have added to the stress for them both.
Nevertheless, the first day of school came on Monday. They had a relatively good day. They feared that they would get lost trying to find their classes. That happened, but they were okay with it. They didn't know that lunch was only 25 minutes long, and they are not okay with that. They were used to having 45 minutes, but they will adjust in time. They were afraid they would miss the bus to get home because they have to travel from one side of the school to the other to get to it. They made the bus. They managed the day just fine. They both had real homework the first day of school. This was a little alarming to all three of us. That told me that they are likely to have homework in at least one class everyday. I also realize that can potentially be a problem on the days they have marching band practice in the evening. The bus typically drops them off at home at 4:25. We have to leave the house to get to marching band at 5:20. That gives them almost an hour to do homework, eat dinner, and possibly shower. The real problem is that the next morning they have to get up at 5:50 to get ready to go to marching band practice again, so they should go to bed at 9:00 when they get home from the evening band practice instead of staying up to do homework. I mentioned the difficulty they might face trying to juggle everything with a limited amount of time. My advise was met with dismissal facial expressions and the all knowing disagreeing head shake. I loudly explained that I would be fine not doling out the advise and experience I have collected from attending high school myself and assisting their older sister through high school as well.
Then Tuesday, the second day of school. Oh, the day went fine, very fine indeed. Until that moment on the bus, when one of the girls realized their homework was in a folder, in a classroom which was probably locked and the teacher gone home for the day. When the door opened to the garage and the girls walked in, tears were flowing from her eyes. She immediately started planning how to get the homework. She make plans to get a copy from a friend an hour later when she arrived at band practice. She went on to her dog 20 minute walking job, she came back and ate dinner, and she took a quick shower. I dropped them off at band practice. Then I picked them up at 8:40, and again, TEARS. The friend with the copy of the homework didn't have time to finish it. More loud works were spoken in the car going home. Disagreements between children and parents, and between parent and parent, were discussed...Loudly. Once everyone was home, a new plan was formed and the friend would email a copy of the homework. She got ready for bed while she waited for the email. Unfortunately, she didn't know that getting ready for bed meant that she would somehow get toothpaste in her eye. MORE (legitimate) TEARS. She waited and waited, but no email. At nearly 10:00, she gave up and went to bed. I was exhausted from the continual stress of HER day.
This all brings us to today, Wednesday morning...Hump Day, Ya-uh. She asked to wake up 20 minutes early to get the email and work on her homework. I woke her up and she got ready quickly. She opened the email and began working. She worked on it in the car on the way to band practice. Right before we arrived at school, she exclaimed she was finished with half of it, and the other half should be easy enough to complete in study hall, which is before the class where it was due. (Large exhale).
I went back to work on Monday. I work in a warehouse braking sheet metal into trim pieces for roof installation. Texas is hot in the summer, and it's hovering around 100 degrees everyday. It was pretty hot Monday, but Tuesday there was a freak cooler front that came through with cloud cover and the high for the day was upper 80's/lower 90's. Yay! I have not adjusted to working all day yet. I haven't even had time to sit down and form a plan for myself to organize how I will buy groceries, cook the food, do the house work and laundry, and still have enough patience to deal with the TEARS...because if there is one think I am absolutely sure of...it is that there will be more TEARS, and probably a lot sooner than I think!
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Life. It's What Happens While You Are Making Plans
My life matters. Every life matters. I know this is not shocking to most people, but I have known people that really didn't believe this about themselves. When I was 20 years old, I knew I mattered to a few people, but I never really thought about my life mattering at 50. That seemed so far away, and the plans I made back then did not have being 50 in mind, well other than I hoped and planned to be alive at 50.
Since I was 20, I have planned many parts of my life and I have accomplished so many of them, but my life has taken turns I never expected, too. I haven't always been extremely proud of some of my choices, but I choose to believe that for better or worse they have molded me into an ever better me. At 20, I was pretty self-absorbed. Nearing 50, I place most of my focus on so many others. My plan at 20 was to be married, own a home, have children, make the most money I could at whatever job I chose, and to grow old being healthy. I did those things, and I did them over and over. Although at 20 was only thinking about the next five years, I married, separated, reunited, bought a home, had a baby, got divorced, lost my job, managed to work enough to feed my child, sold the house, moved back to my hometown, got a real job again, bought another house, married the second time, had twins, quit my job to raise them, sold and bought another house, raise the first child through college, sold and bought another (dream) house, moved first child out of the house, and started working part-time again. Through all of that, many years have passed and many plans have been made, broken and rewritten, and so many times, my plans were changed for me. My Army husband was deployed twice, for a year each time, over the course of six years when the twins were young and my oldest was a teenager. There have been money surpluses and times when I wasn't sure from where the money was going to come. There have been physical health obstacles that seemed like mountains. All along I would alter my plans to push through the events.
Over the past 28 years, I have learned an important process to my plans. I have six priorities and my plans are simple. My priorities are God, Steve, me, my daughters, friends, and finances.
1. I have God given talents and it has taken many years to develop them, but most of my life to recognize them. Although many have believed that singing was my gift from God, I also believe that He has created in me good management and organization skills. I want to use them to benefit me, my family, and others. I never want to take those abilities for granted. I have taken some grief from family and friends over the years for my list making and planning, but I choose to believe that God wants me to continue to practice those skills for His greater plan somewhere in the future. Whatever I end up achieving in my life is to His glory and I plan to follow Him.
2. Steve is a great husband, father, and man. He loves his job and he is good at it. He is doing what he is called to do. He is my second priority because, if God allows it, I will be with this man until one of us dies. He is my best friend, and I am here to make his life better. We are a good team. He annoys me more than any other person, but I choose to see his best qualities. He appreciates me and my skills, and he encourages me. I can't imagine my life without him, so I plan to do what it takes to keep him around.
3. This is a shift of priorities for me...to put me in third place. I have come to realize that as I get older, I need to place some effort on myself. I need to lose some weight and focus on some health issues before it's too late to prevent them. I struggle with allowing me to dote on myself. I plan to spend more time on me. I am worth it. Besides, if I don't, I may not be here to serve the rest of my priorities.
4. This is the easiest one. I love all three of my daughters. I love doing things for them, spending time with them, teaching and guiding them to discover in themselves their own gifts and priorities. I will to continue to be there for them whenever I am needed. My current plan is to make specific dates with them, in order to devote time and attention directly to them, to hear them and know them. With our busy school and work schedules, this may be a bigger challenge than I realize.
5. I have become a true homebody in my older age. I suppose it comes from being home with kids for years, but now I just enjoy being home. I have always taken time for friends when the need arose, and I will continue. Over the past year, I have tried to plan more outings and events with friends. I plan to make more attempts to keep up with friends by means other than Facebook.
6. Finances are always an issue, no matter how much money you may have. After we moved to the country, prices shot up for food staples, gasoline, utilities, and so many other things. I found myself struggling to see where I was going to find the money. I decided I needed to do my part to help pay these bills. I took on a part-time job and I am making a dent, although it is small dent. If my plans work out, we will have all the unforeseen debts taken care of in nine months.
Ultimately, I think I have learned why I am here. I serve. I matter. I make a difference. I matter to God, to Steve, to my daughters, hopefully to my friends, and I even matter to me. I matter to the future plans that haven't been spoken yet. I am planning to be an even better person at 50. I have few true fears, but this one is real: if the past 28 years flew by that fast, how much faster will the next 28 years feel...
Since I was 20, I have planned many parts of my life and I have accomplished so many of them, but my life has taken turns I never expected, too. I haven't always been extremely proud of some of my choices, but I choose to believe that for better or worse they have molded me into an ever better me. At 20, I was pretty self-absorbed. Nearing 50, I place most of my focus on so many others. My plan at 20 was to be married, own a home, have children, make the most money I could at whatever job I chose, and to grow old being healthy. I did those things, and I did them over and over. Although at 20 was only thinking about the next five years, I married, separated, reunited, bought a home, had a baby, got divorced, lost my job, managed to work enough to feed my child, sold the house, moved back to my hometown, got a real job again, bought another house, married the second time, had twins, quit my job to raise them, sold and bought another house, raise the first child through college, sold and bought another (dream) house, moved first child out of the house, and started working part-time again. Through all of that, many years have passed and many plans have been made, broken and rewritten, and so many times, my plans were changed for me. My Army husband was deployed twice, for a year each time, over the course of six years when the twins were young and my oldest was a teenager. There have been money surpluses and times when I wasn't sure from where the money was going to come. There have been physical health obstacles that seemed like mountains. All along I would alter my plans to push through the events.
Over the past 28 years, I have learned an important process to my plans. I have six priorities and my plans are simple. My priorities are God, Steve, me, my daughters, friends, and finances.
1. I have God given talents and it has taken many years to develop them, but most of my life to recognize them. Although many have believed that singing was my gift from God, I also believe that He has created in me good management and organization skills. I want to use them to benefit me, my family, and others. I never want to take those abilities for granted. I have taken some grief from family and friends over the years for my list making and planning, but I choose to believe that God wants me to continue to practice those skills for His greater plan somewhere in the future. Whatever I end up achieving in my life is to His glory and I plan to follow Him.
2. Steve is a great husband, father, and man. He loves his job and he is good at it. He is doing what he is called to do. He is my second priority because, if God allows it, I will be with this man until one of us dies. He is my best friend, and I am here to make his life better. We are a good team. He annoys me more than any other person, but I choose to see his best qualities. He appreciates me and my skills, and he encourages me. I can't imagine my life without him, so I plan to do what it takes to keep him around.
3. This is a shift of priorities for me...to put me in third place. I have come to realize that as I get older, I need to place some effort on myself. I need to lose some weight and focus on some health issues before it's too late to prevent them. I struggle with allowing me to dote on myself. I plan to spend more time on me. I am worth it. Besides, if I don't, I may not be here to serve the rest of my priorities.
4. This is the easiest one. I love all three of my daughters. I love doing things for them, spending time with them, teaching and guiding them to discover in themselves their own gifts and priorities. I will to continue to be there for them whenever I am needed. My current plan is to make specific dates with them, in order to devote time and attention directly to them, to hear them and know them. With our busy school and work schedules, this may be a bigger challenge than I realize.
5. I have become a true homebody in my older age. I suppose it comes from being home with kids for years, but now I just enjoy being home. I have always taken time for friends when the need arose, and I will continue. Over the past year, I have tried to plan more outings and events with friends. I plan to make more attempts to keep up with friends by means other than Facebook.
6. Finances are always an issue, no matter how much money you may have. After we moved to the country, prices shot up for food staples, gasoline, utilities, and so many other things. I found myself struggling to see where I was going to find the money. I decided I needed to do my part to help pay these bills. I took on a part-time job and I am making a dent, although it is small dent. If my plans work out, we will have all the unforeseen debts taken care of in nine months.
Ultimately, I think I have learned why I am here. I serve. I matter. I make a difference. I matter to God, to Steve, to my daughters, hopefully to my friends, and I even matter to me. I matter to the future plans that haven't been spoken yet. I am planning to be an even better person at 50. I have few true fears, but this one is real: if the past 28 years flew by that fast, how much faster will the next 28 years feel...
Monday, August 19, 2013
I Need Accountability
Recently, I turned 48, well I prefer to call it 30-18...but it is an event that took place! Approximately a month before I turned 48, my husband turned 49. Now these two events probably don't matter to anyone else but me, and him. You see, I couldn't image being 40, and the thought of being 50 seems So Old! My mental thought of my age is about 22, so having to actually Be 50 just seems strange. It is odd to know that my husband will be 50 next summer. I guess it seems so much older to me now (as opposed to when I was a teenager) because we are now past being middle aged. Since I know very, very few people that live to be 100 years old or older, I have to accept that I am OVER THE HILL! Ouch!
I do know what's worse than having to tell anyone I am 50 years old...being fat when I say it. Over the past three months, I have discovered many things about my physical health. The fact that I am quickly approaching 50 opens up all kinds of interesting physical events as a woman. As my physical being begins to change, I realize that if I don't push for weight loss this year, I may not achieve it very easily ever again. I also know that I need to lower my cholesterol and eat more heart healthy. I am approaching the age at which my father developed diabetes, and I truly do not want that to happen. Time for a change?!!
So, I have done some research on supplements that lower cholesterol, boost metabolism, and ease the movement of my joints. Yes, my joints! Since my other "old lady" ailment is diverticulitis, I am looking into boosting my probiotics as well. I have compiled a list of better foods geared for weight loss and making up some recipes that make it easier to eat those foods.
Here is my biggest obstacle: I need accountability. I need to prove it. I need someone to hold me to it. I need to know that if I do not reach my daily goals, someone will call me on it. I decided that I would blog it. Even though I have few followers, I know that I put it out there, and I have to answer to it. Between this story blog, and my other food blog, http://whynotvangeem.blogspot.com/, I can set my goals and post recipes and meal plans on what I have researched.
School starts a week from today, and I will return to working almost full time as a metal roof manufacturer the same day. I will be busy with two freshmen in high school, marching band, working, and taking care of our home. I know it will seem overwhelming, but I need to make a healthy change for myself and my family.
If you find this helpful, follow me. That way I know I am being held accountable and maybe I am helping someone else along the way.
I do know what's worse than having to tell anyone I am 50 years old...being fat when I say it. Over the past three months, I have discovered many things about my physical health. The fact that I am quickly approaching 50 opens up all kinds of interesting physical events as a woman. As my physical being begins to change, I realize that if I don't push for weight loss this year, I may not achieve it very easily ever again. I also know that I need to lower my cholesterol and eat more heart healthy. I am approaching the age at which my father developed diabetes, and I truly do not want that to happen. Time for a change?!!
So, I have done some research on supplements that lower cholesterol, boost metabolism, and ease the movement of my joints. Yes, my joints! Since my other "old lady" ailment is diverticulitis, I am looking into boosting my probiotics as well. I have compiled a list of better foods geared for weight loss and making up some recipes that make it easier to eat those foods.
Here is my biggest obstacle: I need accountability. I need to prove it. I need someone to hold me to it. I need to know that if I do not reach my daily goals, someone will call me on it. I decided that I would blog it. Even though I have few followers, I know that I put it out there, and I have to answer to it. Between this story blog, and my other food blog, http://whynotvangeem.blogspot.com/, I can set my goals and post recipes and meal plans on what I have researched.
School starts a week from today, and I will return to working almost full time as a metal roof manufacturer the same day. I will be busy with two freshmen in high school, marching band, working, and taking care of our home. I know it will seem overwhelming, but I need to make a healthy change for myself and my family.
If you find this helpful, follow me. That way I know I am being held accountable and maybe I am helping someone else along the way.
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